Monday, March 21, 2011

Forgiveness is not something we do for others but …

Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.[1] The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'.
Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven and/or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In some contexts, forgiveness may be granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is incommunicado or dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, apology, and/or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe himself able to forgive.[1]” sources Wikipedia
I’ve been struggling with this issue since a few years ago and I am not really sure if I’ve completely master it. When I watched Private Practice last Sunday, I was reminded a lot about this issue. I wish I have a professional friend who can help me deal with the emotional baggage I’ve been carrying all these years. How do you really know if you have forgive someone when you can really forget?
These are a few things that I’ve tired to reduce the pain on a daily basis.

#1) Blogging – I think I started blogging during the time I was hurt the most. I couldn’t talk to anybody. I couldn’t slept that night and I ended up blogging all night long about what was on my mind. The pain, the heartache, the betrayal, the self loathing… everything. Seeing all your pain on screen really helps me letting go some of the pain.
#2) Scrapbooking – I also found out that making a scrapbook layout about my struggle, my pain and my emotional turmoil really helps a lot. That is why I have never really stop making a scrapbook layout. I really found it very therapeutic.
#3) Making new friends – having a different kind of people around you also helps. Suddenly I realize that life is so much more interesting when you have a lot of friends to share it with.

#4) Stay busy and on the go – this doesn’t really help in the long run but at least it’s the short term solution. It helps my mind from thinking about the bad things in my life. Doing things I love to do and make me happy on a daily basis. I seldom let myself stop. If I stop I will be back in that zone where my whole world falls apart. I don’t want to be back there.
#5) Focus on the present. – This really helps a lot because there’s nothing I can do about the past. All I have is the future, so I might as well focus on that

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