Friday, February 23, 2018

How to practice Self Love

I have been in this journey of self discovery for the longest time but somehow along the way it seems I have pushed a pause button. Just like that I became a wife and a mother. I was left alone to figure out how marriage life was supposed to work.  Life has become this constant need of putting other people first. Every time I tried to be myself I was put down by people around me. I felt guilty all the time when I tried to do things I love like scrapbooking or reading. I am being ridiculed for not spending more time in the kitchen.

Now that my life has changed completely, I am obsessed with finding myself again. Who am I without my work, without a husband, without my children and without my mother? It seems a bit scary. A lot of questions kept popping up in my mind. Am I an independent woman, am I loving , creative, passionate woman or am I this horrible person that nobody cares to love? It has been a struggle getting to know myself again. I did a lot of research on youtube about how to feel good about myself , topic like self love and law of attraction kept popping up.

"Designing a beautiful life begins with self love. Self love breeds self confidence, self worth, self respect, self forgiveness. Don't underestimate its power." - lavendire Artist of life workbook

Self love in progress

So for the rest of the year I decided to practice self love daily. I want to be the kind of person who full of love, compassion, inspired others, see glass as half full and enjoy life more.

Six things I intend to do to practice self love

1. Be more aware of myself - Making a list of all your strength and weakness can help you see all the things that makes you you. Knowing your strength and your weakness is the greatest tool you can have. Don't seek approval from others. Only seek approval from Allah. It doesn't matter what people think about you, what matters most is what Allah thinks of you. Accept what makes you good and not so good.  You are unique and if someone doesn't like you for who you are, it's okay. I really really need to work on this because sometimes I am having trouble making peace with my flaws.

2. Positive Affirmation - I have been trying this for awhile. I kept repeating " You are Stronger than you Think" every single day ever since I filed for divorce last year. This affirmation help me to be strong during those long process. 
This is such a powerful thing. Inviting positive thoughts and positive affirmation into your life daily help you to focus on what matters and what you want to become. I plan to write this down everywhere and reminding myself constantly so that I don't slip back into negative thoughts about myself.

3. Letting go of negative and toxic people - This is a very hard thing to do especially when the toxic people in your life is someone that you love. It's going to hurt and it's going to be hard but letting go of negative people and toxic relationship is the best gift you can give yourself. Invite more positive people and positive energy in your life. Life is to short to be with the wrong person or to be in a toxic relationship. Know what you want and go for it.

4. Invest in yourself -  You only have one body, mind and spirit, take care of it like it's the only thing in the world that matter. Make time to take care of yourself like pampered yourself, have a self care routine, learn new skills, read a book, recite or listen to quran, salah and write morning pages. There so many activities that you can do to take care of your mind, your body and your spiritual. Learn to forgive yourself and others who have hurt you. This will help you to have inner peace. 

5. Stop being in a comparison trap - Do not compare yourself to other. I really need to work on this because I always compare myself to others. I am constantly feeling insecure especially about my self worth, about my intelligence and my culinary skills. I am not a domestic goddess and I constantly hating myself for it. Questions like why I am not like this person or that person constantly popping up in my head. It has become my kryptonite. It crippled me. So this year I need to practice self love by not comparing myself to others. The key to improving yourself is to compare yourself with your previous self. 

6.  Write a Gratitude Journal daily - I have the intention of keeping a gratitude journal since last year but somehow I just can't make this habit stick. Writing about the things that your are grateful for daily requires a lot of thinking and exploring the abundance of the world around you. It's a way to cultivate self love by learning to love the little things about yourself - like you legs, your arm, your mind. I am keeping this type of journaling in my DayOne app. Hopefully this will help me improve my consistency in developing this habit.

Building a relationship with yourself takes time and hard work. Love yourself at your best and also love yourself at your worst. Stop hating yourself for making mistakes. You are human and you are not without flaws. 

Hopefully this list can help you and me in our journey to become a better person and be happy.

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